January 10th 2011
First want to start off this email with an apology...
So never in my life have I ever felt so much love and respect for leaders in the church and for EVERYTHING they do for the ward and all the things and activities they organize just for us. I apologize to every leader I have had in my life in the church for not showing up to those cute and fun activities you planned for weeks on end and spent money, and I either forgot or just didn’t have time to go, or just didn’t care. I am sorry for being such a diva and I hope I can be forgiven.....haha—(you know what’s coming next) –BECAUSE, since I have been out here in the mission we try to plan SO many things - like English or music classes - to get members and in-actives or investigators to, and we spend so much time making and passing out fliers, baking or making food for it, and what do you know the day rolls around and guess what---EVERYONE is too busy or forgets, or just doesn’t care to come and I sit there with my companion in the empty church with our treats we made, and our stuff all set up, just wondering-do people really have better things to do - do people really not care? Is it that hard to remember or attempt to come? So to all you leaders out there - THANK YOU for all you do! Keep it up! And to everyone who is contemplating whether they should go to those things or not - just picture me literally laying on the church ground eating all the cookies I made for the activity with a bitter look on my face - just go...it will be worth it!
Wow...I feel like I just wrote since these past few weeks have been weird with intercambios and everything……but there is always a lot to tell! All is well! I am back in my lovely area Arroyito, and things are OK, not great. When I was gone for a few days it was really hard being away from my companion, my area, and away from the investigators - it was hard not knowing what was going on with everything and knowing that all I could do was hope and pray was tough. But once I got back we just got working hard and visiting all of our investigators. I am not going to lie these past few days have been really rough - it seems that every single one of our investigators we have been working sooo hard with this whole tranfer are allllll backing out or can’t get baptized for different reasons....like really?...all of them?! And of course we have to go from house to house all in one day and be rejected by each individual one. I would just look at them and wonder how - how it is they can feel the spirit so strong, and know something is true, and then want to reject it or back out or want more time. I knew the mission would be hard and I knew that things take time, but this really was a moment of a trial of my faith like it talks about in Ether 12:6. “And now, I, Moroni, would speak somewhat concerning these things; I would show unto the world that faith is things which are hoped for and not seen; wherefore, dispute not because you see not, for you receive no witness until after the trial of your faith.” So many times we just want instant results or things to just happen when WE want them to - but I have realized that so much in life we really need to just trust in the Lord, have patience and faith, and know that all things are in His time, and will work out in the end -like in D & C 121:7-8 – “My son, peace be unto your soul; your adversity and your afflictions shall be but a small moment; And then, if you endure it well, God shall exalt you on high; you shall triumph over all of your foes.” We just can’t give up.
Oh believe me - did I want to give up this day - and even worse so did my companion. We were just so frustrated, and almost mad about our investigators, and couldn’t understand why this was happening. We went to our apartment to get something before our next lesson, and we knelt down to pray, and my companion asked me to say it. I literally fell to the ground……because I was so hot and just physically and emotionally exhausted and overwhelmed. I began to say the prayer - and just right away I felt so much love my Heavenly Father. I asked him for his help, light, love, guidance and strength……and I felt Him comfort us and my heart was softened. I thanked him for our Savior Jesus Christ, and right when I began to talk about him I just began to cry, because I knew that He was with me, and He knew how I was feeling in that very moment - because he suffered these pains and trials and hard times just for me, and knows what it is like to be rejected. After the prayer I just felt so much love and gratitude - because although I knew this work is hard - and these people and investigators will be tough- I knew Christ would help me and be with me through it all because I am his representative, and He wants his light to shine to all and to help all the people of this area hear the gospel and accept Him. It’s just through time faith and patience and hope that I will be able find those people that are prepared.
After we went to Lucy and taught her, and of course she was having problems with her son and needed some help……and I talked about how I cannot even imagine what it is like being a parent. It takes so much faith in Heavenly Father and time and patience and help from Him to help families and kids. But I told her about my life, and my parents, and I just testified that through all of her prayers and faith and love for her kids, and just by her example her kids will make it through and will grow up and mature and change. I said that if my parents would have given up on me in those hard times and trials in my life, I wouldn’t be here today - but it is because of them I am here! And it is because of them that I have the testimony I have and know my purpose in life and have changed! I just said – don’t give up - with God-all things are possible.
Truly the mission gives you a little glimpse and tiny experience of what it’s like to be a parent. Every night I am just on my knees pleading and praying sooooo hard for these people - for our investigators and inactives, and sometimes its just so discouraging and disappointing when they don’t do what you know will make them happy. I just think of all the parents our there - more importantly our Father in Heaven - and they just love us sooo sooo much, and want the best for us, but sometimes in life we don’t do the smallest or simplest things - and why not…….we want to be happy, and we know what we need to do, so why is it so hard to do things that bring us, our parents and more importantly ourselves happiness? It is so important to remember how blessed we are to have a Father in Heaven that loves us soooo much and wants us to be happy, and wants us to follow Him! We have loving parents - they truly just want the best for us and would do anything for us to just make the right choices and be happy.
This mission is changing me every single day. I am always learning and growing as a missionary, and I truly am sooooo happy to be able to be here sharing the gospel. The mission is so hard and difficult at times…. but every single moment is worth it! I love and miss you all! Thanks for all your support and prayers and love! This is the last week before tranfers – I hope I am staying – I will let you know what happens in a week!!!
Besitoooooossss Nos Vemossss
Love, Hermana Pond
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