CHOICES

"I honestly do not know what to do...."

One of the most popular phrases in my book of dysfunctional and complicated things to repeat when faced with having to make any type of small or large decision in the life of ME. Whether I am rolling out of bed and I do not know what song to listen to as I get ready, what outfit to wear, what class to skip, what lunch place or fast food to eat at, what major I decide to study, what state to live in, what country to visit next with the coming holiday, what words to spill to the boy I like, what party to go to on the weekends, or what picture to make my profile pic.......it is always a struggle, this life, that is composed of different "right and wrong" choices. There is the "what if I do this instead of..." factor or "if only I had said this..." or "they both feel right....", we are constantly having to CHOOSE what to say, what to think, where to go, what to buy, who to talk to, how to feel, and when is the best time.

Remember the good old days when we would wake up with breakfast made, our rooms cleaned for us, the house all put together, our clothes picked out, and our days, weeks, and even years planned for us by some divine leaders and "perfect know it all/do it right" human beings called our parents...?! Where did the time go and where was I/what was I doing during that class or course where our parents or some kind of adult figure sat us down and taught us how to use our brains correctly and make the right decisions always for the rest of our lives....? Guess I missed out?!!

Well hello and nice to meet you REALITY CHECK to becoming an adult. I am not married and I am not even close to having any children but I am on my own and let me tell you, living and breathing and succeeding and winning and school/work/relationships/life in general is pretty hard to figure out when you are on your own. It is not so "glam" and "independent" and the "dream" as we think. It is hard work and it takes time to learn how to use your head and heart to choose your life. It takes practice...

So how do we make the "right" choice with every decision we are going to face...? How do we know if something is "right"/ "fate" and that "oh don't worry, everything will work out...." Will it? How do I know that...

well first we are going to look at our set backs of why we are not making decisions in our lives...what is holding you back?

possibly being torn between two good things...?

We see it in the movies too.... from the beautifully touching and emotion filled chick flick "The Notebook", Ally is torn between two great guys and does not know who to choose. This is Ally being young and happily in love with two great people but each one could definitely give her completely different lives. Noah, the dream boat and Ally's first love, gets frustrated with her and tells her to stop thinking of everyone else and trying to please other people and for once think of herself. He finally tells her to go within herself and make the choice not because he wants her to do it or her mom wants her to choose someone else but she should do it because she knows it is exactly what she wants. What would you do? Who would you choose and what path of life would you follow? I feel like this movie shows us how often we are "torn" between so many choices in our life and we want to go certain ways or pick specific things because of outside influences of people we care about and love. We do not want to hurt anyone and we want everyone to be happy! Even though in our lives we will faces roads with so many options and ways to go, we need to accept the fact that we are TORN between all the choices but we need to go within our hearts and heads and let that be the judge and not let the ones around us influence us so much. It is our life and our happiness and we need to be looking out for ourselves. Maybe both decisions are good and both could be great and that is okay but we need to learn how to just CHOOSE. Do it and see what happens! maybe we will get hurt or lost or set back or we might even succeed and receive everything we want in life but regardless it is time to start going and deciding and things will work out.

whether you have fear, have been told you cannot change or accomplish something, are torn, stuck, worried, impulsive, confused, or just trying to people please, know that you are the one that holds the POWER to create and live your own life. You, in the end, even if you make a good or bad decision or choice, are the one that deciding and you can determine whether or not you are happy or unhappy.

I really like this talk by President Monson that talks about the three R's or choice:

I have been thinking recently about choices and their consequences. Scarcely an hour of the day goes by but what we are called upon to make choices of one sort or another. Some are trivial, some more far-reaching. Some will make no difference in the eternal scheme of things, and others will make all the difference.

I mention first the right of choice. I am so grateful to a loving Heavenly Father for His gift of agency, or the right to choose. President David O. McKay, ninth President of the Church, said, “Next to the bestowal of life itself, the right to direct that life is God’s greatest gift to man.”¹

We know that we had our agency before this world was and that Lucifer attempted to take it from us. He had no confidence in the principle of agency or in us and argued for imposed salvation. He insisted that with his plan none would be lost, but he seemed not to recognize—or perhaps not to care—that in addition, none would be any wiser, any stronger, any more compassionate, or any more grateful if his plan were followed.

we will always have the right to choose.

Next, with the right of choice comes the responsibility to choose. We cannot be neutral; there is no middle ground. The Lord knows this; Lucifer knows this. As long as we live upon this earth, Lucifer and his hosts will never abandon the hope of claiming our souls.

Our Heavenly Father did not launch us on our eternal journey without providing the means whereby we could receive from Him God-given guidance to assist in our safe return at the end of mortal life. I speak of prayer. I speak too of the whisperings from that still, small voice within each of us, and I do not overlook the holy scriptures, written by mariners who successfully sailed the seas we too must cross.

When faced with significant choices, how do we decide? Do we succumb to the promise of momentary pleasure? To our urges and passions? To the pressure of our peers?

Let us not find ourselves as indecisive as is Alice in Lewis Carroll’s classicAlice’s Adventures in Wonderland. You will remember that she comes to a crossroads with two paths before her, each stretching onward but in opposite directions. She is confronted by the Cheshire cat, of whom Alice asks, “Which path shall I follow?”

The cat answers, “That depends where you want to go. If you do not know where you want to go, it doesn’t matter which path you take.”⁷

Unlike Alice, we all know where we want to go, and it does matter which way we go, for by choosing our path, we choose our destination.

Decisions are constantly before us. To make them wisely, courage is needed—the courage to say no, the courage to say yes. Decisions do determine destiny.

All of our choices have consequences, some of which have little or nothing to do with our eternal salvation and others of which have everything to do with it.

No temptation, no pressure, no enticing can overcome us unless we allow such. If we make the wrong choice, we have no one to blame but ourselves. President Brigham Young once expressed this truth by relating it to himself. Said he: “If Brother Brigham shall take a wrong track, and be shut out of the Kingdom of heaven, no person will be to blame but Brother Brigham. I am the only being in heaven, earth, or hell, that can be blamed.” He continued: “This will equally apply to every Latter-day Saint. Salvation is an individual operation.”⁸

We have all made incorrect choices. If we have not already corrected such choices, I assure you that there is a way to do so. The process is called repentance. I plead with you to correct your mistakes. Our Savior died to provide you and me that blessed gift. Although the path is not easy, the promise is real: “Though your sins be as scarlet, they shall be as white as snow.”¹⁰ “And I, the Lord, remember them no more.”¹¹ Don’t put your eternal life at risk. If you have sinned, the sooner you begin to make your way back, the sooner you will find the sweet peace and joy that come with the miracle of forgiveness.

DO NOT FEAR AND HAVE THE COURAGE TO MAKE CHOICES NOT BECAUSE SOMEONE ELSE IS TELLING YOU TO OR YOU FEEL PRESSURE AT A CERTAIN TIME IN YOUR LIFE BUT DO IT FOR YOURSELF, YOUR LIFE, AND ESPECIALLY YOUR HAPPINESS.  LIFE DOES NOT JUST HAPPEN BUT WE MAKE IT HAPPEN AND THAT CAN ONLY COME TO PASS WHEN WE MAKE CHOICES.  STOP AND PAUSE THE NEXT TIME YOU ARE FACED WITH A DECISION AND REALLY PONDER, MEDITATE, THINK, BE STILL, AND LET LIGHT FLOW INTO YOUR MIND AND HEART.  THINGS WILL WORK OUT AND GOOD AND BAD WILL COME TO PASS REGARDLESS BUT NO NOT LET FEAR OF FAILURE OR REGRET STOP YOU FROM YOUR ETERNAL PROGRESSION.  YOU NEED TO LIVE LIFE AND YOU NEED TO LEARN.  STOP DOUBTING AND START DECIDING.  THE TIME IS NOW!