About Me

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I am studying Psychology and Sociology at Utah Valley University, and working at a treatment center for troubled teens. I love life, being with people from all cultures, speaking Spanish, and traveling all over the world. I will never stop laughing, dancing, singing, enjoying, appreciating, and just being.

Friday, July 27, 2012

What fear...?

Well...what do you SEE??
So I just had a group therapy class and we talked about a lot of interesting things.  We talked a lot about fear and how, regardless of who you are or where you are, we all afraid of acceptance of judgement.  Why are we all so comfortable in our own "element", whether that is around our family, friends, in our own country, at a job, or in school.  We do not like to feel or look stupid and we do not like to say too much or be too open because we are afraid people will think negatively or poorly of us.  What is it about being open that is so hard, whether that is with our own selves or with other people?  Are we not all a certain way for a reason?  Are we all not different because we are suppose to learn and influence each other?  Are we meant to hold things in and always play it safe or are we suppose to open up...?  And when is it "socially acceptable" or "the right moment" to be honest with one another, share our feelings and emotions, our life stories, and our outlooks and opinions of life.  What is it that is holding us back?  

Personally, this made me think a lot because I am just naturally a very open person and I have no problem reading the story of my life out loud in a public setting...haha obviously because I am writing all my good, bad, embarrassing, offensive, deep, odd comments and opinions on a open and public website....what do I frickin care...?  But am I always like this...?  In work, school, church, parties, family events, airports, trips to other countries, etc....??  Where do I feel like it is appropriate to open up and share and why do I feel like it is considered "okay"....?  And where is the line drawn for other people and what determines that...?
I can honestly say I have felt really embarrassed or scared to be judged or uncomfortable actually being "me" in a lot of situations and I just wonder why do we go through that?  Why do we think that even though we may feel completely accepting, comfortable and nonjudgmental to others, we automatically think the worst and we FEAR that others think and feel that way about us.  We believe that anything that comes from our mind of heart could sound stupid or weird or wrong...who knows?  but really.... WHO CARES??? Are we not all here to learn and grow and mess up and be embarrassed and look stupid anyway.....??  Why do we just avoid and close up and hide in any way we can so we are not "completely exposed" because who knows what someone will say or do if we go about living our lives and stating our opinions and express who we are.....? weird to think about right?  Are we not allowed to take risks....?  Are we not suppose to and designed to invest in people and places and relationships...?  Lets just embrace risks and push out all fear and negative thinking!!!! Is it that hard?  I feel like if we try doing this, just a little, we will become more bold, confident, happy, strong people in general.  Let's be and become the human beings and children of God that we came here to be.  That is the purpose right??  And yes, we might have some awkward moments, confrontation, tears, disappointment, judgement, anger, impatience, hatred, etc....but in the end YOU are still YOU.  We cannot change people but we can change ourselves and how WE feel and how WE react. 

We can see the things of life in many different ways but in the end, it is how you are choosing to see them and not just seeing them how they actually are.
I am really the book "The Power of Patience" and there is a part that I really like and it states:
"Patience is created when we keep our eyes on the big picture and don't get so caught up in the minutia of our daily lives.  Its like having a wide-angle lens on a camera as we as a zoom.  Up close, even a molehill can seem overwhelming; from a distance, we can see that in fact it's not a mountain.  The good news is that you are holding the camera-and can switch lenses anytime you want."

We are the camera holders.  We can see things how we WANT to.  We choose our thoughts and feelings on things.  We are in control and responsible of our own fears and worries and we choose to have confidence, take risks, and being patient.  We can do it.  Lets try it now.

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