BACK TO SCHOOL!!!
I cannot believe it is fall semester. I would never believe it because it is so dang hot outside.... I honestly wish I could wear a swimsuit to school and as I walk like 10 miles to each class outside, I could get a tan....HAHA! I am so embarrassed at school because all my classes are so far away from each other and so I feel like a frantic stressed sweating mess as I am running to each class. And I swear-everyone and their mom goes to UVU now.... I am pretty sure about a year or so ago everyone made fun of me and my "wolverine pride" and now everyone followed my trend and is hitting up the UVU.... so proud!!! You all LOVE it!! So I really do love school and I am happy to be back and learning. I get so excited to bond with my teachers and fellow class mates and have good discussions and experiences together. I am so glad I actually know what I want to do with my life and my classes are really enjoyable. I am so passionate about Psychology and I love learning and studying human behavior, thinking, interaction, and emotion. It is fascinating!!
I had work this week and it was one of the most intense days of my life. Being at school now and learning a lot about my field of work, I get to observe and apply the studies from school at work with the girls from the treatment center. This week has just been madness and it really has opened my eyes to some key factors that are crucial in basic human relationships. At my job, we are constantly trying to strengthen, improve, heal, and lift the emotional needs of the girls in any way possible so that they are able to encounter their strengths, weaknesses, core issues, and change or better their negative and positive behavior patterns in their lives. Normally it is very healthy and organized and everyone is slowly but surely finding themselves, finding closure, and making goals to a brighter and happier future. Lately, with some things that have occurred, everyone is basically dragging to just physically get through each day with their basic needs of survival and not try to rip each others heads of from frustration and annoyance. I thought of a good analogy for it...
Think of a hospital room that is filled with ten new born babies and only one nurse is on shift. Now imagine that one baby woke up for any apparent reason and began to scream and cry uncontrollably which then "domino effected" every other baby in there and one by one they all began to cry. Now just a minute ago, this nurse was walking down each row of these cute little innocent new born babies with a calm and loving heart and meeting each specific need to everyone without problem or panic. This nurse is now in stress mode and is running around by herself trying to meet the needs of each one of these ten crying, upset, tired, and hungry babies. To this nurse working alone, she is feeling that each baby is just in need of things like food or more rest and so she is just trying to efficiently physically help each of these new borns so that they do not die. These babies need food and rest right....? But as this nurse is running around hectic and frantic wanting to "save" these children, she is realizing that as much as the physical needs are important, each one does have emotional needs that need to be met and without them, even being rested and fed, they will not be able to "live" or "be saved".
This was my experience at work with these girls. I felt more like a sitter than a sister or mother. I felt like I was being barked at with orders and just going around and doing without any emotion or thinking because everyone was "dying" and demanding physical needs to be met. That is fine and of course we need to feed our kids, get them dressed and showered, get them doing their homework, get them some medicine, get them in bed on time, etc. but I realized that the actual thing that was lacking more than all of these routines and aspects of the girls lives was emotional needs being met. They needed love and needed an understanding and unconditional heart of concern and care for them. They lacked someone listening to them or validating their feelings. The desired any kin of physical contact like a hug or rub on the back. This is what we all need! I find it so mind blowing that we are so worried about starvation of the body and lack of sleep for human being and how dangerous and unhealthy it is but what about the humans soul....??!! doesn't that live too inside of everyone and doesn't it need some nourishment just like our bodies thirst and hunger for food and water? We truly need love and a APPRECIATION to make it from day to day. we need people to tell us they are there and love us and worry about us. We need to be "saved" on a daily basic by emotional needs such as physical contact from people we care about or healing words of appreciation and affirmation. All these things are important!!
So I went around to all the girls that night and hugged them, kissed them, said positive and encouraging things to motivate them, told them I am proud of them and appreciate them, and was here for them for anything they need. That is all it takes! Is it that hard to remember to do that daily to the people in our lives that we care about so that we can function day to day and have positive and happy exeriences?
WE CAN DO IT! Let us focus on three key things to make sure this happens and so that we are meeting peoples emotional needs...
1) consistency- Don't appreciate, give love, attention, and affection one day to someone and stop the next. Keep it up and care enough that people can learn to trust you and know that you will always be there to give them those emotional needs that they need! This is CRUCIAL!
2) S M I L E- be happy and show everyone, especially these loving and cared for individuals, that you are happy and you are glad to see them! smiles are contagious and will rub off on the people that need and lack some positive emotion and gladness.
3) eye contact- be there in that moment with that person and don't be distracted or looking somewhere else. this will show that you are not going anywhere and your attention is on them so that they can feel and know that emotionally they are safe and can trust you. FOCUS!
4) use their names- names are a powerful thing you know! using someones name when speaking to them or addressing them will make them feel cared about, loved, and appreciated.
5) validate- repeat back what people are saying to you and try to let them know that you understand how they feel and where they are coming from! you don't have to agree but you should let them know that what they are saying to you matters and is worth your time.
6) appreciate- let that person know that they are doing a great job and you are really happy and grateful for the person they are, the work they have done, and they things they share with you. regardless of who you are or what you are doing in life, you want to feel important and appreciated! so let people know how lucky you are to know them and how good they are doing at anything. this will enhance trust and love in that person as well as their personal performance in anything that are involved in.
LIFE IS GOOD. Fall is here and with work and school, I am so thrilled to even be alive and learning and growing. It is just such a fun ride on that path of self-discovery! Keep reaching out to others and remember that the emotional needs of the people around you, and your own for that matter, do need to be met as much as possible and you can do something about that. Just love, love, and LOVE, and life will surprise you with more L O V E along the way bringing you so much happiness and good experience!!