- Jami Pond
- I am studying Psychology and Sociology at Utah Valley University, and working at a treatment center for troubled teens. I love life, being with people from all cultures, speaking Spanish, and traveling all over the world. I will never stop laughing, dancing, singing, enjoying, appreciating, and just being.
Monday, September 17, 2012
I have decided that my blogs are way too emo and I would like the world to know that I am really not sad...I AM OKAY!! haha promise.... it is just nice to open up and vent...be real and not pretend that life is easy and always good....it has its ups and downs! So on a happy and positive note....
I am in a positive psychology class and I am really excited about the book we are reading called "the how of happiness." It talks about how in our life there is 50% that is a set point, meaning genetics, background, make up of oneself. Then there is the 10% that is your circumstances, meaning you wherever you live, your culture, environment, things like that. The last one is the most important and that is the big 40% that is completely your CHOICE and the part of the pie or diagram that is fully yours and you can control! I think that is so exciting! It is easy to claim our family situation, our state or country, our skin color, our "poor circumstances of just the way we are and we can't help it", but there is proven research that it is possible to gain control and make change. You own that 40% and you are the one that can use that to your advantage every day and make things happen for yourself and for your life.....cool huh??!!!
So one of the activities that is so simple and very fluffy in my opinion talks about the importance of GRATITUDE and 8 ways that we can be happier in our lives if we are being grateful. Heard that one before....?? Me too! Like every day in sunday school at church or even growing up from my parents, I have always been programmed to know that an "attitude of gratitude" makes you happy. Can it and will it? How do you do it then if it is so simple because what is the excuse for the unhappy and cold society or culture we live in? If we were all thankful enough then why are we all not smiling and loving each other? I think we are all in denial and not being real about things! I also think that we need more grateful leaders in our lives to set the tone and mood of the days and weeks and so we can follow the leader and start being more happy and grateful people. We have so many reasons to be thankful every moment of every day right....?? Here are the 8 ways in the book that prove that gratitude can boost ones personal happiness in their life.
1) Grateful thinking promotes the savoring of positive life experiences- embracing and enjoying every life experience, big or small, and not thinking about what it lacks or in what way it could be better. Take it how it is and see the beauty it holds! Always see the good!!
2) Expressing gratitude bolsters self-worth and self-esteem- you will progressively learn to accept and love yourself for who you are and what you are meant to do!
3) Gratitude helps people cope with stress and trauma- instead of thinking "what am I doing wrong?" change the question to, "what can I do better?" you will come to find that you can ALWAYS overcome anything and deal with any situation that comes your way. Get out of victim mindset!!!
4) Expressing gratitude encourages moral behavior- you will want to be better when you are thankful for everyone and everything! you are constantly seeing the good and appreciating the positive which will then lead you to a path of making morally correct choices and feeling more grateful and happy!
5) Gratitude can help build social bonds, strengthening existing relationships, and nurturing new ones- who does not want to feel appreciated and loved? how many people do you know that are so thankful for you and appreciate you every day...? how much do you want to serve them and love them more? those are good people and good friends....you can become that person!
6) Expressing gratitude tends to inhibit invidious comparisons with others- NEVER COMPARE, COMPETE, OR CONDEMN! these feelings will only get you down on yourself, others, and the world. be happy for others and their accomplishments and successes!!
7) Gratitude is incompatible with negative emotions and may actually diminish or deter such feelings of anger, bitterness, and greed- who likes angry or bitter people? do you really have any reason to feel that way about your life or yourself? are you being a little over dramatic and need to shift your thoughts and feelings from darkness to light....? try it and see how much lighter and better you feel!
8) Gratitude helps us thwart hedonic adaptation, which is our capacity to adjust rapidly to any new circumstances or event- whatever comes your way in life, this will make you strong and ready to handle it! have an attitude of "come what may" or "I can learn something from this...." It is all about how you see it and not how it really is.
I truly believe that there is nothing out there in the world that is perfect happiness and so I think the question is not "what are we searching for?", or "where is it?" but "how are we going to create our own happiness and experience it every single day?"
well a start to that question is BE GRATEFUL!!!! This is one way you can start now to creating a happy and positive life that will attract good people and things to you every where you go, regardless of your circumstances. How do we begin to have this attitude....??
1) express gratitude verbally- tell at least one person in your life that you love and care for,that you are thankful for them and all they do. People need to feel appreciated and a way we can start doing that is speeding the love and thanks to everyone around us verbally.... say thank you as much as you can!
2) write it down- have a gratitude journal where you can write at least one good thing about your day or even your life on paper so you can be recognizing the good in all you do and say.
3) show it- do something for someone! help people out to prove to them that you are thankful for all the hard work and effort they are doing in their own lives, even if it is not involving you personally. we all need help and what a better way to be thankful for each other then by getting up and giving each other a hand! It really does seem like a pain and seems like it will not be worth it, but I promise that your happiness will increase and by "paying it forward", the universe will bring you good things in return.
4) think it- is it not scientifically proven that our thoughts control everything about us??? everything begins in the mind! If we are thinking good things, we will see and experience good things! even if we wake up and say "I am going to have a good day..." and bad things happen, that doesn't mean we have to think it is a bad day..... maybe it is good and we are just not seeing what is good about it...??!!
5) teach it-be a leader! study the importance of all of this and try it out yourself and then bring this wisdom and goodness to the people around you!
So can we be happy? Is happiness a real thing or are we all just emo and depressed people sitting around and hoping that the UPS man will someday drop a box labeled "happiness" at our door and life will just be good.....?
I think it exists and is a real thing but we are all so different and all have specific definitions of happiness and so all we need to do it look for them and try things out! What are always thinking about unconsciously and what do you always find yourself doing or wanting to do? Start to experiment a little and good things will come and happiness will light up your life! Start by being grateful and I promise you that things will change.