Thank you soooo much mom and dad for all the dearelders and packages. I am obsessed- you guys are so deep and I love your advice and spiritual counsel- it is so tender. Mom I am so sorry to hear about Allison- I just cried so hard about it, and tell her that her family is in my prayers.
So this week in the MTC has been great! As we all know I am now leaving the MTC a week early, so you can imagine when everyone found out all the elders were just so excited and freaking out, and I was like crying haha because I love this place and don’t want to leave. Everyone makes fun of me but I don’t want to leave my companions I love them so much. But I know everything happens for a reason so I am having a positive attitude about it all, and just getting excited to go.
About a day after I found out I was leaving early I just had this huge wave of emotions of fear, doubt, anxiety and nerves, and missing home- and it was really hard because I have not really felt that here yet, and I didn’t really know how to handle it. I didn’t want to talk to anyone, and I just told everyone I was sick and didn’t feel good and just stayed quiet. My hermanas left me for a bit and I had to go with the elders to this meeting for leaving for Argentina, and right before it started, I just ran out of the room and found and empty room close by and just fell to the floor crying. I had no idea what was wrong, but all I felt was emptiness and alone and I wondered if I could do this. I knew it was the adversary working on me, because I was getting so close to leaving, and so all I knew I could do was get on my knees and pray with all of the energy I had in my heart. I just pleaded to my Heavenly Father to help me rise from this hard time and these feelings, and to have my angels come and help me and lift me and to have Christ in my life and by my side and to give me strength. After I prayed I just felt so much peace and love and I just knew I would be okay. I needed my family and friends at this time because I miss and love you all so much, but I knew that the only one who could truly help me was my Savior and I knew he would carry me away from this hard time.
Later in class after I was feeling a lot better, our teacher out of no where just felt inspired to talk about this: We need to remind those that we teach that whatever good things and feelings they have felt in their life about the gospel is of light and comes from God - and any kind of feelings of doubt or regret or fear come from Satan, and we need to help them recognize and stay in that light always, and keep going forward with faith and believe in themselves. This made me think of my situation and I knew that I had felt so much light desire and purpose coming here, and I knew that I was doing the right thing. So with those feelings I knew they came from God and if that got me here, those feelings can also go with me to Argentina. We then watched a beautiful movie in Spanish about having faith in Christ and it really inspired me, and made me excited to speak Spanish and be in Argentina and tell people about this wonderful Savior of ours who is awaiting to lift our burdens and sorrows and help us heal through hard times in our life.
We also had the opportunity to practice teaching a lesson in Spanish only on the Savior and as I taught I just really focused on making the message so real and sincere and I thought of what I experienced earlier that day, and in doing so I was able to testify and teach of Christ with such truth and power. I am so excited to go out in the field, and I know that this is the time that Cordoba needs me, and even if I feel that I am not prepared or need more time, I know that if I just have confidence and faith when going out there just knowing I will have positive and amazing experiences-then I will be guided and taken care of. Why fear? Why do we ever discourage ourselves when we have so much potential and God is just waiting for us to awaken to our spiritual selves and continue changing our lives. No matter what happens my first month in the field I know that everything is inspired and that even if I have hard or awkward or scary experiences out there, I can handle them with a spirit of peace and know that no matter what, I am there to do the Lords work and I will be able to accomplish it with him by my side and with the Holy Ghost in my heart.
Some scriptures I really like about comfort hope and faith are: 2 Nephi 31:20 John 14:14-27 and my personal favorite Enos 1:4-5
On Sunday we had a really good lesson about patience and choosing to serve this day. We watched the Mormon Message (which everyone should watch it is so good!) by Uchtdorf about patience, and the experiment about marshmallows. We all talked about how in life there are things (marshmallows) that we are promised if we just wait it out and take the time and in doing this, we will be given the marshmallows as a reward, but it is only if we wait and have that patience that we will be given it. We talked about learning Spanish, and so many things in life that we want so bad to have, but we know it will take time to get. We discussed how it is important to just trust and know that we will eventually receive the reward but in the time we are awaiting for it, we MUST use it wisely and do the things that we know we are suppose to do before we are given the end result. We are all searching for so many answers and decisions and things in our life all the time and it is human nature to just want it right away, and be given everything we desire but what we must understand is that in the Lord’s time we will be rewarded, and if we just do what we are suppose to such as keep the commandments, serve others, work diligently, be patient, have faith and love, and wait it out with a humble heart, we will be given those things we deserve and the Lord will just bless our lives immensely. D & C 123:12-17
We also watched the mormon message called, Choose Ye This Day (watch it - its my favorite one!) by Eyring, and it honestly brings me to tears every time I watch it. Every single day when we wake up we should be asking the Lord what we can do in our lives to serve him, and who we are suppose to help or love or be guided to that specific day. Never lose any opportunity and do not procrastinate your days of service because you never know when it will be too late. Love and appreciate each moment of each day and know that it is not tomorrow or in the future we will change our lives and better ourselves, but choose THIS day right now whom you will serve, and do it with a gladness and thankful heart and in doing so we are able to feel of God’s love for us and better understand ourselves and the purpose to our lives.
So I cannot believe I leave in a week for Argentina!! It honestly feels like I just got here. Time is such a precious thing and that is something I have really learned about since being here. Do not waste time and enjoy every single moment of your life. I have loved the MTC and I am sad to leave it, but I know that so much awaits me in Cordoba, and I cannot wait to get out there and begin this marvelous work. I love you all and I am praying for you! Send all the letters you can this week before I leave the country!! :) Adiooossss Te Amo :)